


Insecure

by futuristicallyspeedyparadise



Category: HIStory3 - 圈套 | HIStory3: Trap
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-18 07:30:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19329943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/futuristicallyspeedyparadise/pseuds/futuristicallyspeedyparadise
Summary: In which Zhao Zi gets a little jealous and contemplates the life he has set up with Jack.





	Insecure

Zhao Zi knew he was being a little irrational.  
  
There was no reason to doubt Jack.  
  
None.  
  
Yet, watching Jack smile at the supermarket cashier boy was making his stomach twist in knots.  
  
Zhao Zi was crouched down behind a pyramid of canned fruit. Clutching on to a can of peaches, he watched Jack pick up his bagged items, give the cashier a final grin and head off towards the exit. Hurriedly, he stepped away from the cans—surprising the person who had been examining them—paid for his items and began his journey home.  
  
He hadn’t realized he would run into Jack at the supermarket. Zhao Zi had stopped to grab some ingredients to see if he could convince Jack to make dessert tonight; he had a sweet tooth today. When he had first spotted his boyfriend, he immediately began to walk towards him, grin in place. However, he stopped abruptly when he watched Jack laugh at something the cashier said.  
  
At first, Zhao Zi hadn’t understood the heavy anchor that had suddenly dropped onto his chest. Nor did he understand the flash of irritability that had sparked. He didn’t understand why it made him angry to see Jack’s genuine smile given to someone else so freely.  
  
After all, Zhao Zi had the privilege to know Jack beyond a four-minute encounter. He was a witness to Jack’s bedhead and sleepy morning smiles; heard the redhead’s hysterical laughter when they got into their tickle battles; felt his warmth and knew the softness of his lips. Zhao Zi came home to Jack every day, the redhead usually waiting for him with open arms and a cooked meal. He liked coming home to the man, feeling for the first time in a while that he had a family.  
  
It had taken a little bit to get used to having Jack in his life and to grow comfortable with his affection and desire for him. It had only been a year ago that he had finally owned up to his feelings for Jack. Faced with the thought of never being able to see him again, Zhao Zi had quickly come to realize that the very thought of Jack slipping away from his life—as quickly as he had come—made the air leave his chest.  
  
The night that he had asked Jack to stay fundamentally changed everything. At first, Zhao Zi had been a bit shy. When Jack moved in, he didn’t really initiate any physical intimacy and preferred for Jack to take the lead on such matters. His ears and cheeks usually burned after the heavy make-outs they often had in front of the television after dinner. No matter what they were watching, Jack would inevitably pull Zhao Zi onto his lap, bringing the smaller man to straddle him, and spent the next half hour exploring his mouth.  
  
Zhao Zi had never fathomed how good it would feel to be wanted.  
  
When he got home from the supermarket, Jack had not yet arrived. He had told Zhao Zi in the morning that he would be running a couple of errands and would therefore be late.  
  
Zhao Zi put away the items he had bought to make dessert and then headed upstairs to their bedroom. The room was brilliantly lit, the setting sun casting an orange glow across the space. He walked over to the dresser and grabbed the first t-shirt he saw. Zhao Zi liked to be comfortable; he believed that one of the best moments of the day was when he was finally able to shed the layers of clothes and slip into something simple and breathable. The t-shirt he had grabbed was Jack’s. It fell slightly big on him and covered his boxer-briefs.  
  
Zhao Zi put his day clothes into the laundry basket and sat at his window seat. He brought his legs up to his chest, wrapped his arms around them, and lay his chin on his knees, staring down towards his front yard.  
  
He had taken up wearing Jack’s shirts some time ago, enjoying how loose they were while lounging around the house. The first time he had worn them, Jack had come home and had immediately taken him to bed.  
  
Zhao Zi remembered the moment clearly; he had watched Jack enter his yard from the window, heard his soft footsteps on the stairs, always agile and graceful, and had watched him cross their bedroom threshold. Jack had looked tired—he spent a lot of his free time consulting on gang murder cases now—but the moment he had looked at Zhao Zi and took in what he was wearing, the sleep swept from his eyes only to be replaced by something more carnal. He crossed the room, pulling Zhao Zi to him, and plundered his mouth. His hands dove into Zhao’s Zi’s hair and he kissed him deeply, almost desperately. Zhao Zi remembered the waves of pleasure and happiness that surged when Jack had moaned into his mouth and whispered, “I can’t believe your mine.”  
  
This past year had been the happiest time in his life. Despite the initial bumps in the rode in which Zhao Zi had learned to slowly trust his heart, together they had built a comfortable home. They were a family and Zhao Zi couldn’t help but smile at the thought of it. Yet, he couldn’t stop himself from feeling trepidation. Was there such a thing as being too happy? How long would it last?  
  
Hearing the keys downstairs, Zhao Zi stood from the window seat and raced down to meet his boyfriend. Jack stepped into the kitchen and turned his head to watch Zhao Zi’s hurried approach. He grinned, taking in Zhao Zi’s outfit. Placing the groceries on the counter, he turned his full attention to Zhao Zi, grabbing him by the hips and pulling him in to press their bodies together.  
  
“Hey, shorty,” Jack murmured. He leant down to kiss Zhao Zi. “I missed you.”  
  
Zhao Zi melted into the embrace. When Jack began to pull back, Zhao Zi reached up to hold his head in place, and captured his lips again. Was it possible that he had done something extraordinary in another life? It wasn’t possible for him to have deserved this. The privilege it was to feel so good and so safe in Jack’s arms.  
  
He felt heat pooling as Jack moaned into the kiss and reached down to pick him up. Zhao Zi wrapped his legs around Jack’s waist as he was placed on the edge of the kitchen counter. Jack ran his fingers up Zhao Zi’s thighs and Zhao Zi shivered, a trail of goosebumps having been left in Jack’s wake.  
  
Finally, he pulled back and looked at Jack whose gaze had gone heavy-lidded with pleasure.  
  
“To what do I owe such a pleasant welcome?”  
  
Zhao Zi blushed and averted his eyes. “I missed you.”  
  
Jack grinned.  
  
“Do you want to eat now or later,” he said nodding towards the groceries he left on the counter.  
  
“Now!”  
  
“Alright then,” Jack chuckled and started to move away to begin prepping the meal. But Zhao Zi couldn’t let him go. He trapped Jack in between his legs and prevented him from moving.  
  
Jack quirked an eyebrow.  
  
“Do you want to eat food, or did you desire something else to eat?”  
  
Zhao Zi blushed.  
  
“I…” he stammered but couldn’t get out a response. Why was it so difficult to speak?  
  
Jack’s teasing smile softened, and his eyebrows knitted together. He brought one of the hands that had settled on Zhao Zi’s thighs up to his face, caressing it softly. “What’s wrong, Li An?”  
  
“You don’t…like anyone else, right?”  
  
Jack’s smile faltered.  
  
“What I mean to say is…I’m…I’m the only one you look at, right? Like this?”  
  
Jack frowned.  
  
“Where is this coming from?”  
  
Zhao Zi sighed. He felt stupid and insecure and stupid for feeling so insecure.    
  
“I went to the supermarket today. I saw you there…with the cashier…and I…the way you smiled at him…I don’t know…I didn’t like it.”  
  
His statement was met with silence.  
  
He peeked upwards and saw the grin on Jack’s face.  
  
“What are you smiling at!” He huffed, getting ready to extricate himself from their embrace and storm off upstairs.  
  
“You’re jealous.” Jack stated matter-of-factly, his grin widening even more. “You’re so jealous.”  
  
“I’m not jealous! It’s just—”  
  
“You are!”  
  
“No! I’m not…I just—”  
  
“C’mon, shorty. You can admit it.”  
  
“It’s…I…You’re mine!” Zhao Zi finally blurted out. Then in a small voice, “Right?”  
  
Jack’s grin softened and he pushed his forehead against Zhao Zi’s. “You’re right. I’m yours. Only yours, Zhao Zi. I don’t look at anyone else this way. I don’t want anyone else.”  
  
Zhao Zi didn’t know how to respond. Somewhere in the back of his mind he already knew Jack was his. That despite being a liar throughout his life and a man of different faces, Jack would not lie to him. Not about this. And that his worries were stemming from an insecurity much deeper, and pervasive inside himself.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Zhao Zi muttered.  
  
Jack shook his head and brought a hand to Zhao Zi’s chin. He waited until Zhao Zi looked at him.  
  
“Zhao Li An, I like you. I stayed here because of you. A year after that decision, I am still so fascinated by you. Still attracted to you. That hasn’t changed. It won’t.”  
  
Jack nuzzled his nose. “OK?”  
  
Zhao Zi smiled.  
  
“OK.”


End file.
